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Joke of the Day

"Unlike your magazine, an actual watchtower would help me spot Jehovah's Witnesses before they knock on my door."

"North Carolina just legalized same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage."

"All this 'Frozen' merchandise is just getting ridiculous. I was at the supermarket earlier and they've now got a whole bloody aisle just for Frozen stuff."

"so sick of people who aren't Beyonce"

"A black guy in the library just asked me where the colored printer is... It's 2015 dude, use whatever printer you want."

"This just in! You read this"

"I slapped a statues arse... I think I hit rock bottom"

"Found a jelly bean in my skittles like a surprise gift from the Diabetes Fairy."

"Ppl freakin cuz its sharks in the ocean. News flash: that's where they live! If u see them at Chipotle, then we have a problem"

"Two soldiers are in a tank... ...one turns to the other and says, ""blubblublbublub""."