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Joke of the Day
"Found a jelly bean in my skittles like a surprise gift from the Diabetes Fairy."
Next Joke
"Just realized Franz Kafka was a lawyer so he was Kafka, esq."
"My girlfriend calls it selective hearing. I prefer to call it drama filtering."
"Strictly between you and me and whatever agency these hummingbirds are reporting to, my paranoia is getting worse."
"The only thing I know about Downton Abbey is that everyone looks as if they smell like the bottom of my Nana's purse."
"YouTube: ""Sorry, this video is not available in your country.""Me: ""Fucking racist!!!!"""
"Why is Paul Walker and Rihannas new song the same? They both went up in flames."
"When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren't my kids but he'd never fire a Mom of seven, right?"
"Why did the global warming activist compliment the earth? Cause it looked hotter than usual! (I'll see myself out)"
"Coma's can really change the meaning of a sentence... For instance: * Hillary is in a hurry. * Hillary is in a coma."