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Joke of the Day

"Freudian Slips A Linguistic Slip is where you say one thing, but meant another. A Freudian Slip is where you do one thing, but meant your mother."

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"To quote my late father... ""Traffic is heavier than I expected."""
"My first joke ever... Seriously Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the cock!"
"Dad: I had a son once Stranger: what happened to him? D: he touched the thermostat Kid: dad, I'm like right here D: you hear something?"
"I've spent half my money on gambling, alcohol, and wild women. The other half I wasted."
"They say that dog is mans best friend ... ... but I don't have enemies that stare me directly in the eye whilst taking a shit on my carpet"
"There are so many scams on the Internet now... Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them."
"What has 200 legs 50 noses and is very loud? A herd of stampeding aardvarks!"
"I'm not a pessimist. I'm a depressed realist."
"What's the difference between hungry and horny? (NSFW) Where you put the cucumber."