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Joke of the Day
"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs... ...because they always take things literally."
Next Joke
"[on a 1st date] Me: I'm just looking to take things slow Her: *in a wedding dress* me too"
"Alexis Ohanian"
"I am out of wine, so I ate a bag of grapes and threw myself down the stairs."
"I shouted ""the blue Subaru with an Obama sticker left its lights on!"" at Mt. Bachelor and had the *entire* hill to myself for an hour"
"I'm starting a tent business. My first sales event will be called the ""Tent Offensive"""
"hah woops!! someone asked me what's up, i tried to say ""not much"" and ""just chillin"" at the same time, accidentally said ""hitler was cool""!!"
"What would you call an additional day added to the week? Sumday"
"Twitter announced today that they've lost 134 million dollars this year. I don't know if they want us to look for it or what the deal is."
"in your head, in your heaaaaaad Harambe, Harambe"