73877

Joke of the Day

"I wish the book ""How to be an adult"" came in hard cover... .. it would be that much more effective at bonking stupid people in the head."

"I've had a rough morning. I woke up and tripped over my wife's bra; it was a booby trap."

"Taco Bell doesn't have a playground because kids that eat Taco Bell can't climb, or run."

"Today is ""bring your dog to work day"". I thought it was ""bring your dawg to work day"". So now DeShaun has to leave. Sorry dawg"

"When someone says, ""I haven't seen you in forever,"" a fun response is, ""I know, we're really not that good of friends"""

"Be a firefighter they said, Rescue kittens & throw them into fire they said, Youre misinformed they said, We're calling the police they said"

"What kind of pictures do turtles take? Shellfies!"

"What do you call 4 Mexicans trying to cross a river? Quatro-cinco"

"I love to challah at Jewish chicks."

"I've always wanted to know how long ""forever"" was... and by looking at some people's relationships, it's around 2 to 4 weeks."