73850

Joke of the Day

"[Going through rubble after a house fire] Her [holding photo albums]: Totally ruined. Me [holding slices of bread]: Pretty much toast."

"Q. What did Snow white say when her photos didn't come back from the photo store? A. ""Some day my prints will come!"""

"What was Forrest Gump's password? 1Forrest1"

"*Slides a five across the bar* Bartender: Did you... Did you break this off our sign out front? Me: (Confidently) tap water please."

"Why do Native Americans hate snow? Its white and on their land."

"Wondering why we have 50 candidates for Miss America, but only 2 for president. Also, why no swimsuit competition?"

"What do you call a 6 feet tall circle that recently got his diploma from college? A Graduated cylinder."

"What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night? Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog."

"Girls that don't care about size are just shallow."

"What happens to lawyers after they die? They lie still."