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Joke of the Day
"Girls that don't care about size are just shallow."
Next Joke
"When you criticize a person, walk a mile in his shoes... then you'll be a mile away and in his shoes."
"Like a good neighbor plow my driveway, not my wife"
"Today is national dog day and women's equality day... It's national bitch day. /r/showerthoughts did not appreciate this. Maybe you guys will."
"Do your part as a parent by helping prevent teen pregnancy. Let your child play the tuba. Tuba players never get laid."
"Ahh Summer. The season for confusing unattractive girls with hot girls because of oversized sunglasses."
"Roses are red, Violets are blue... Pornhub is down, your facebook will do ( )"
"*Speed Dating* Him: Do you have any hobbies? Me: *tying my hair in a big knot under my chin so I look like I have a beard* ""TAAA-DAAA!"""
"If you enjoy arguing about lunches at 6 AM I can't recommend parenting highly enough."
"Wife: Why are you so out of breath? You drove here. Me: Yeah but I was listening to Slayer in the car."