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Joke of the Day

"The stock market is like a woman.... ....when she goes down, you buy more"

"Hush little baby, Don't say a word. Daddy's gonna buy you a bunch of crap so he doesn't have to hear your incessant whining ya spoiled brat."

"What is the best vegetable delivery vehicle in the world? An ambulance"

"Not enough drugs in the world that would make me strip in front of a webcam. But a bottle of wine should do it."

"I walked into a lesbian karate class. All that they were doing was scissor kicks."

"Help! Has anybody seen a little boy with a corndog? Stranger: He's over there! Oh thank God! [steals little boy's corndog and runs away]"

"Taliban Airways We make sure your flight is a blast."

"My family doesn't get together a lot during the holidays. We see each other enough throughout the year at all the interventions."

"""This one's cute."" - me picking out a watermelon. I have no idea what I'm doing."

"There was two muffins. They were put in the oven One muffin says to the other muffin, ""wow its hot in here!"" The other muffin said ""WHOAH, A TALKING MUFFIN!"""