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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a 6 feet tall circle that recently got his diploma from college? A Graduated cylinder."

"Thheres just not enough moisture in food now a days. Run that shit under the faucet"

"Hm, want to use firecrackers but not wake the neighbors. I know, I'll light the firecrackers inside a container! Like this megaphone here!"

"What not to ask a gynecologist when seeking dating advice. What do you look for in a woman?"

"What did the red light say to the green light Don't look. I'm changing"

"What does Batman take with his drinks? Just ice"

"Interview: ""What's your greatest weakness?"" *I look at my watch then lean in* How much time do you have?"

"What is the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Reeve."

"I have no respect for mules. Everything they do is half-assed."

"What was the top item on Hitler's grocery list? Concentrated Juice."