117643

Joke of the Day

"""sir do u know why i pulled u over"" *shrugs* ""License- *hands cop box of crayons* ""sir plea- *hands cop coloring book* *cop starts coloring*"

"Elmer Fudd knew how to deal with a duck face."

"My first wife died from eating poison mushrooms; my second wife died of a fractured skull... She wouldn't eat her mushrooms."

"Okay, you got me, I'm not really a gynecologist. What gave it away? Was it the tongue thing?"

"My mate went bald ten years ago and he still has his old comb that he used to use . He just cant part with it."

"Today I was woken up by a blowjob. I hope I'll never fall asleep in the train with my mouth open again."

"I don't always start a joke without finishing it, but when I d"

"A pirate decided he wanted to retire He sold all his gold on eBay."

"Saw a new movie the other day... It was about a guy who dreamt he was a condom. It was called Contra-ception."

"What's the difference between Putin and Poutine? Umm... I don't know ... I've got nothing."