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Joke of the Day

"(Dad joke warning) What was the almond tree doing all damn summer long? Nuttin'"

"What was Charles Dickens' favourite experimental pop album? It was the best of Grimes..."

"I walked into the Reddit restaurant. All the servers were busy."

"Did you know some dogs don't pass the Police Academy? ...they didn't pass the pawlygraph test."

"WIFE: You know Hogwarts isn't real? It's just part of series of fantasy novels. ME: *chasing an owl around my garden* WHATEVER MUGGLE!!!"

"Alcohol is the leading cause of me getting yelled at for being a pterodactyl on the coffee table."

"How long does guacamole last in the fridge? Please say a year."

"I owe my love of bukkake all to my dad When I was a child, he really rubbed off on me."

"You know what I don't get? Laid."

"What could Dora the Explorer's kids be called? Doritos"