100021

Joke of the Day

"You know what I don't get? Laid."

"A cook's apprentice is throwing copious amounts of herbs into the dish When the cook walks in and says ""STOP WASTING MY THYME"""

"3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep. The other wants to know if penguins have knees."

"A good pun is like a good steak A medium rare well done."

"Don't run with scissors because you might accidentally trip, fall and cut the grand opening ribbon of a new museum 2 weeks ahead of schedule"

"The rotation of earth Really makes my day."

"What do you call a deaf person who can't lip read? Anything you want!"

"I asked my sister how her blind date went ""Oh it was terrible"" she said, ""He showed up in a 1948 Rolls-Royce."" ""So what's so bad about *that*?"" I asked. Apparently he was the original owner."

"What's the difference between an introverted physicist and an extroverted physicist? An extroverted physicist looks at *your* shoes when they're talking to you."

"Conspiracy theory: If they really want to catch Big Foot, why don't they look at the factory where Christmas stockings are made?"