73633

Joke of the Day

"What did they call Postman Pat after he retired? Pat"

"I'm at my most British when the Benny Hill theme song plays while I'm half naked & being chased by my TC's wife who found me in his closet."

"Today I saw ""Jesus doesn't care about your grades"" written on the sidewalk in chalk and all I could think was ""Thank god, he'd be pissed"""

"Why are some flowers gangsta ? Cause they carry pistils."

"How do you piss off horny redditors in nsfw? [deleted]"

"McDonalds just started their Monopoly game again with an increased 1 in 4 chance of winning a prize/obesity/explosive diarrhea!"

"If a bundle of sticks with an axe in it is a fasces, does that make an OP with an axe to grind a fascist? Seems that way on 4chan."

"What does Shrek say when he wins a game of chess? Shrekmate."

"Why was the calculator salesman happy when he sold his cheapest calculator? Because they all add up!"

"I knew my girlfriend was cheating on me. She told me she was at the mall with her friend Carrie. Thing is, Carrie was sleeping right next to me!"