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Joke of the Day
"13 blackberries and 5 iPads walk into a bar... They leave hammered"
Next Joke
"What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable? ...the wheelchair"
"[First date] Him: Can you pass the- SOMETIMES WHEN I SLEEP ON MY STOMACH MY CAT LIES ON MY BACK LIKE A TINY SURFER"
"Fact: Fat people falling down is always funnier than a skinny person falling down."
"How did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field."
"Say, hypothetically, I was stuck in an air vent over a dressing room at Lane Bryant. What kind of legal issues am I dealing with?"
"I recently went to my doctor for a physical... Doctor: ""Everything looks fine but you need to stop masturbating"". Me: ""Why?"" Doctor: ""Because I'm trying to give you a physical""."
"Some people say Steve Jobs died to early... but I'd say its an appropriate metaphor for his companies policy on battery life"
"Most days I feel like three kids stacked up on each other's shoulders, covered by a huge coat, trying to pass as one of all these grown-ups."
"Tell me Jeeves, are lemons tweeting? -No,sir. -Well, it seems I squeezed the canary in my tea again."