73521

Joke of the Day

"A threesome? Nah not for me. If I wanted to horribly disappoint two other people I'd go out to dinner with my parents"

"Wtf this movie was not at all like the book! Friend: It was, are you sure you read the book? Sure I did. I read between the lines."

"My dad died five years ago but I still see him everywhere I look. Makes me wish I hadn't dismembered him."

"If I ever noticed you waving frantically from inside a burning building I would totally wave back because I'm polite."

"i went to a wedding for two antennae The ceremony was pretty bad, but the reception was amazing"

"Mexicans and blacks are a lot alike. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal."

"Did you hear about the guy who died while digging a hole for a coffin? It was a grave excavation."

"What do you call a large group of prostitutes? A whored"

"How do cows communicate? Moorse code."

"I like twitter because having one-sided conversations with virtually no feedback reminds me a lot of being a parent."