73340

Joke of the Day

"When your kid makes a funny face, say they will stick that way, then show them the thousands of girls with duck lips on Instagram."

"My voice is like a pony, A little Horse."

"If couples who are in love are called love birds, then really, couples who always fight should be called angry birds!"

"Making people uncomfortable & upset really gives me the most happiness in life . Above all else , I hope to make you feel wrong"

"An ostrich commits grand heresy against the empire. He is promptly ostrichized. No? ok."

"What do you give to an elephant who suffering from diarrhea? Space."

"What did the McDonald's addict suddenly realize? ...I'm lovin' shit"

"Why is Neil Degrasse Tyson such a famous physicist?... On the day he was born he escaped a black hole...... and then he spent his life studying them."

"2016: ""Yeah right, Trump isn't going to get elected."" 2017: ""Yeah right, Trump isn't going to put that policy into place."" 2018: ""Might as well tune into the Hunger Games tonight..."""

"The two secrets of life 1. Don't tell everyone everything you know."