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Joke of the Day

"I was standing in a playground wondering why frisbees got bigger as they got closer.. ..... Then it hit me."

"A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one."

"Why is it easy for gays to escape a fire? Because their shit is already packed."

"I have a knack for philosophical puns... I guess you could say I have really found my nietzsche."

"I like to show my girlfriend who's boss in our house by holding a mirror up to her face."

"I stash my weed in the middle of a bunch of Russian nesting dolls so when the cops are searching for it they give up like after 5 dolls."

"What do you call the top wealthiest people in Mexico? The Juan percent."

"You should take care of your nipples. They may not seem important now, but when you die, that's where the angels grab you."

"Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today.. I should have put it on aloha setting."

"when my kids lose a tooth i'm gonna put euros under their pillow they'll cry but i'll be all uh oh looks like daddy has to take us to europe"