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Joke of the Day

"why are clothes so expensive???? i should not have to pay this much to not be naked. people should pay ME to not be naked"

"What do you call 5 cats sitting on top of each other? A caterpillar"

"Does anybody know whats heart does? Beats me"

"What was Cher doing before she was born? She was a preacher."

"If you see a profile pic with 1 fat girl and 1 pretty girl and can't figure out who's profile it is, make no mistakes... it's the fat one's."

"What was the currency of the Trade Republic of Venice? Dogecoin."

"[customs] ""Passport?"" *I lift up my bag & a severed head falls out* ME: OH NO OH GOD *still rummaging through bag* ME: I've forgotten it"

"What do the UFC and Beauty Salons have in common? They're both full with Brazilian pussies!"

"1. What do you call a man with a flamethrower? 2. What do you call his first victim? 3. What do you call his second victim? 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash"

"What's red like a strawberry, hard like beef jerky, smells like vinegar, and is found under your bed? Me neither. Help."