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Joke of the Day
"I wish Adele would hurry up and put out another album so I could end this relationship."
Next Joke
 
"U.S. vending machines to begin displaying calorie information to encourage smarter snack choices. Machines' reflective glass surface not doing the trick."
"A feminist is someone I could really get behind."
"Made a Jesus joke. Nailed it."
"What should you do if your girlfriend is choking? Back up a couple of inches."
"What's the best thing about murder? Nobody remembers the rape."
"Why are most male politicians gay? They can only mandate."
"Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head? A: All you can eat under a buck."
"What kind of bathroom does Napoleon use? A Waterloo"
"What's an atheist's favorite Christmas movie? Coincidence on 34th Street"