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Joke of the Day

"Why are high school girls only 13, 15, or 17? Because OMG, they like LITERALLY can't even."

"After several drinks last night, I had a great Buzz. Unfortunately I was no longer able to get a Woody."

"Usually takes me two or three tries to correctly aim the remote at the TV, if anyone was thinking of challenging me to a duel."

"Astronaut Booty Call... I'd like to see what's under your Kuiper Belt."

"Best joke in soccer right now. Mexico's national team."

"What's Rihanna's favorite type of apple? She doesn't have one. She'll eat anyone that's bruised!"

"What does Bob Marley wear to sleep? pa-jammins"

"Did you hear about the houseboat that crashed? Everything but the kitchen sank! lol it's shitty but this is what happens when i zone out at work"

"What's the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz cracker? Ones a snack cracker and the others a crack snacker."

"VICTIM: He had a beard & a scar SKETCH ARTIST: Is this him? VICTIM: That's Bart Simpson SKETCH ARTIST: Yeah I can only draw a couple things"