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Joke of the Day
"Why are high school girls only 13, 15, or 17? Because OMG, they like LITERALLY can't even."
Next Joke
"It took me 13 years but I finally deleted most of my e-mails."
"I like my women like I like my coffee Silent."
"What did the 0 say to the 8? Cool belt fuckface"
"What does a church shooting sound like? Pew! Pew!"
"What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night? He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea."
"Would the man who lost his hearing aid PLEASE come and retrieve it at the lost and found"
"True embarrassment lies within your first email address"
"On April Fools Day a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack."
"So I was watching Fox News the other day"