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Joke of the Day

"Men are a lot like shopping carts, when you finally find one without a screwed up wheel, it already has a Women pushing it around."

"Who can't tell the difference between short and long? This subreddit mods"

"I saw an ironing board with wrinkles in it I thought that was pretty ironic."

"What's a wavelength's favorite animal? A lamb, duh!"

"My doctor told me if I was 5"" taller I'd be at the ideal weight, so I'm going to try and give that a shot."

"why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack"

"Q. What did the Syrians use to light their homes before candles? A. Electricity."

"PATIENT: my stomach is killing me, doc DR DOG: I've got just the thing for you *hands him a prescription bottle filled with grass*"

"A Midget Walked Past Me On The Sidewalk Today Wearing A Shirt That Said ""I Hate Black People"" ...I thought to myself ""Well damn- thats a little racist."

"What does a guy think in the middle of a blowjob? Fuck i'm broke."