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Joke of the Day

"Tonight is bad for me. Could everyone arrange to Wang Chung maybe some time early tomorrow afternoon?"

"I get so excited every time I see an armored car but then, guess what, no heist."

"Ordered my grilled cheese with tomato. Go hard or go home."

"I'm like the packaging on a CD really hard to get off but it doesn't matter because no one wants you anymore"

"Pretty sure the ""FINISH HIM"" guy from Mortal Kombat is giving relationship advice to every girl I date."

"What's the difference between yogurt and white people? If left out for 4,000 years, yogurt will develop culture."

"Entomology. It's Sci-ants."

"How is an accordion like an artillery shell? Once you hear it, it's already too late."

"How many chocolate bunnies can you put into an empty Easter basket? One. After that the basket won't be empty."

"How do you tell apart a Chinese from a Japanese? With a Geiger Counter."