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Joke of the Day

"An orangutan in the zoo has two books The Bible and Darwin's Origin Of Species. He's trying to figure out if he's his brother's keeperor his keeper's brother."

"My sister asked if I stole her cream sweater. Uh, yeah. Who else would've stolen it? You think a burglar broke in and was like ""Cute top!"""

"I hate when people text back ""K""...I'm rarely in the mood to talk about potassium."

"The good news is, I blocked the creepy guy. The bad news is, I'm tweeting this from inside his trunk."

"What is the worlds friendliest aircraft? A hellocopter!"

"I was going to major in cosmetology.. ..but then they shut down the space program.. idiots."

"What did the homophobic sheep say when he saw the two female sheep making out in the field? ""Oh, ewe"""

"My housemate told me to get something to the front page of reddit I should just recycle... It'll take a lot more than that to get me to take the bins out!"

"Do you like water? Yes? Well, then you already like 60% to 70% of me."

"I hate giving good people bad news But I'm a reporter at Fox so all I got is bad news."