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Joke of the Day

"A magician was driving down the road when suddenly... He turned into a driveway!"

"[DARK HUMOUR] What do you call a fat baby? Quite a mouthful."

"When I saw ""likes music"" on her dating profile, I almost fell out of my chair. Because I also like music. Holy shit she likes good food too!"

"My resume is really just a list of shit I hope I never have to do again."

"What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore will sleep with anyone, a bitch will sleep with anyone but you."

"Going to dress up as a Jedi today and open automatic doors for people with the force. NO YOU GET A LIFE."

"Pakistan army will never try to win the war against India, someone told them winner has to speak English on live television."

"My neighbor told me to close the curtains when I'm naked, but then I don't get that cool sensation of pressing up against the window glass"

"Getting caught I got caught jacking off at the store yesterday. But seriously, who pays for bug spray?"

"The only thing worse than finding a hair in your food is realizing that the person who prepared it has a bald head."