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Joke of the Day

"What different about an American Christmas from a Spanish one? Noel."

"I'd rather the Ring girl pop out of my TV than have the ""Congratulations you have won an iPhone"" voice ever scare the shit out of me again."

"Condescending: (adj) showing patronizing superiority (verb) a convict shimmying down a prison wall with a rope made of bed sheets."

"Why did Bill Gates & Warren Buffett once have me quickly kicked out of a game of bridge? When it was my turn to bid I kept saying, ""Go fish""."

"I can't stand Freud... him and his motherfucking complex."

"A construction site worker told his boss ""Boss, the shovel broke ! What should i do now?"" to which the boss replies ""We're out of shovels. Go lean on something else !"""

"On the bright side... We can look forward to four more years of Michelle Obama speeches from our First Lady."

"It would be totally gay if Elon Musk opened a gas company in the future. Not because it will be out of trend but because it will be named GasX."

"A Rabbi's money maker. A man asks a Rabbi if he gets paid for the circumcisions. The Rabbi says - No, I can't do that! I just Keep the tips!"

"Usually, the one you want, is the one you can't have."