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Joke of the Day

"Decided to plant some marijuana seeds in my vegetable garden hoping I could come up with some dope beets."

"What do you call a weak cup of tea? Subtlety."

"A good rule of thumb is It's opposable."

"explosion Where did the little girl go after the explosion? Everywhere."

"Quidditch is my kind of sport. You don't have to run, you get to sit the whole time, and if things aren't going well you can just fly home."

"How do you stop Carlos Santana from molesting your children? You put a guitar in his hands."

"Knock knock ""who's there?"" interrupting cow with alzheimer's disease ""interrupting cow with alzheimer's disease who?"" knock knock ""who's there?"" moooooooooo ::silence::"

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. The question is: how do they get in there?"

"Ever had sex while camping? It's fucking intents"

"Why did Hitler and Mussolini get into a footrace? They wanted to see who was the fascist."