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Joke of the Day

"Me: I'll take one insurance Insurance salesman: It doesn't work like that Me: *shoving $12 in his breast pocket* your best one, please"

"I like my slaves like I like my coffee. Free."

"I just installed a new app on my phone that lets me know which of my friends are racist. It's called 'Facebook'"

"Overheard this locker room convo: ""The new school janitor is weird. He's always hiding in here when we're showering"". I took my mop and left"

"When children, who are hoping for your death so one of them can claim your throne, bring you brekkie in bed, don't eat it. #FathersDay"

"If it's too cold in a room... Go to the corner, it's 90 degrees!"

"Just changed the names of all the girls in my contact list to: ""Jake, from State Farm""."

"I got a job crushing cans at the supermarket... It was Soda Pressing."

"Why did the Polar bear struggle in geometry class? Because the teacher was a Cartesian bear."

"Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one."