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Joke of the Day

"6: I'm done. Me: you didn't even touch your food! 6 pokes food w/finger *without breaking eye contact* The Sass is strong with this one"

"We really are the most blessed generation. We've had 7 iPhones and 7 Fast and Furious movies."

"My girlfriend left me for a Hindu guy. Anyway, he'll treat her better they worship cows."

"What do lawyers and sperm have in common? 1 in 50 million has a chance of becoming a human being."

"Did you know Oxford university was founded before the Aztec Empire? That explains the sacrifices my parents had to make to pay my tuition"

"What did Pontius Pilate say to Jesus? If you drop that damn Cross again you are out of my Parade."

"Biology: The science of writing awesome bios."

"Why did Vader deceive everyone about his love affair with the Emperor? Because he was in Sidious."

"Me: I'll take one insurance Insurance salesman: It doesn't work like that Me: *shoving $12 in his breast pocket* your best one, please"

"What did the blind, deaf, mute quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer."