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Joke of the Day

"911 The American police have said they will never forget 9/11. Pretty hard too, I would think, considering it's your phone number!"

"I've got my first Gamblers Anonymous meeting tomorrow."

"Sure, your carpenter could turn water into wine, Father. Now let ME tell you about a plumber who can increase his size by eating mushrooms."

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Dad."

"What gym equipment does Jesus use? A cross trainer."

"*Me getting pulled over* Me:license and registration please? Guy police officer :I pulled u over.. Me:do u really want to argue with me?"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Lukewarm and bitter."

"Women love shy guys with some sensitive sensibilities. They also love confidence and assertiveness. So, have multiple personality disorder."

"Story of Dave There was one a man named Dave. Who kept a dead whore in a cave. He said, 'ah, what the hell, I'll get used to the smell'. 'And think of the money I'll save'."

"My wife was fixing the caulk around our tub... Me: You should use some caulk softener to make that easier. Wife: Is that like a picture of your mom or something? (actual conversation)"