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Joke of the Day

"For sale: Golden Retriever, had for 9 months, has yet to retrieve gold. Should have bought a metal detector."

"Why has Santa Claus such a big sack? Because he only comes once a year."

"Keep your friends close and your enemies tied to a train track."

"3 Bears This is a joke my father told me. Once upon a time, there were three bears. They came across a girl with pink hair, it made them so mad... They moved."

"What's the latest Irish invention? A helicopter ejector seat"

"If I had an ice cream truck, it would turn into a regular truck in about a half hour."

"I found a bug in Madden 2015 I sacked Tony Romo, and he didn't break his collarbone."

"I asked my dad if he ever got around to checking out the cookbook I wrote. He said yeah, and it was about thyme."

"Why was the Trebuchet so rude? It was an offensive siege weapon!"

"Downside to a threesome? You'll disappoint 2 women instead of 1"