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Joke of the Day

"Jack and Jill... .....went up the hill so he could lick her candy, but jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock, cause Jill now identifies as a male and had gotten sex change surgery a week before."

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"Grease (1978, musical) A highschool girl wins happiness and the acceptance of her peers by changing who she is and taking up smoking."
"How can Rihanna tell when Chris Brown's cheating on her? The brand of makeup on his knuckle isn't hers."
"Was your ass freed from enslavement? Because it's off the chain."
"Just found out Fox News's website has a Science section, which I assume links to a video of Sean Hannity screaming at a biology textbook."
"If I was a Quidditch player I'd be the Seeker, because I'm really, really good at doing basically nothing until the very end of something."
"I phoned my work this morning and said, ""Sorry boss, I can't come in today, I have a wee cough."" He said, ""You have a wee cough?"" I said, ""Really? Cheers boss, see you next week!"""
"Doctor: you gotta cut back on the drinking Me: but why? D:*lifts up x-ray* says here your liver has officially been sponsored by Grey Goose"
"Don't you hate people that answer their own questions ? I know I do..."
"How does a mathematician ask for money? Give me 10! dollars"