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Joke of the Day

"I went to the supermarket dressed as a classical composer... Somebody asked me what I was Chopin for."

"What did the lesbian pirate say to her peg legged girlfriend? Scissor me timbers"

"Guy asked me today if I've ever owned a dog. I was like lmao yeah I own dogs all the time they can't even say shit back"

"Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad, I'll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you."

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? ""How do you drink through that?"""

"The Three Hole Punch either sounds like an awesome karate move or an awful bedroom experience."

"Hear about the guy whose brother cut off his leg below the ankle? Treachery was a foot."

"What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was both their last big hit."

"A good way to know you'll be paying more than 5 dollars for a coffee is if the guy making it looks like one of the Lumineers."

"- I like to travel in first - But is expensive, is not? - Yes, I have already broken three cars!! European joke..."