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Joke of the Day
"What sound does a pool make when someone you don't like jumps in? DOOOOUUUUCCCCHHHEEEEEE!"
Next Joke
"How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? you nail food to the ceiling"
"Her: You're up to a pack a day nowyou have to cut back. Me: [petting the alpha male of the wolf pack I just adopted] I can quit anytime."
"19 and 20 got into a fight... Now they're facing 123 years on disturbing the peace."
"Trump's rhetoric has become even more disturbing and incendiary. Today he claimed ""Burger King fries are as good as McDonald's fries."""
"""I think this cereal has gone bad."" *me drunk, eating Meow Mix*"
"I'm so petty People call me Tom"
"Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired."
"Splashed myself while washing the dishes naked At least I can say I got my dick wet"
"So it's legal to sleep on a pillow but illegal to hold it over someone's face until they die? Ugh, government"