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Joke of the Day

"Why did the black man walk backwards? I have no idea, Your Honor, but he was coming right at me and I felt my life was at risk."

"I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke."

"Have you ever had ethiopian food? Neither have they."

"What has 18 legs and catches flies? A baseball team."

"me: [trying to pronounce gnocchi] ""gnocc gnocc-"" waiter: ""who's there? haha"" me: ""this isn't a joke son"""

"Her legs spread so easy, I can't believe it's not butter."

"A man was caught stealing in a supermarket today... ...while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts."

"Having fun with your primary-school friends, a perfectly legal thing to do, before... ...the *age of consent* was invented."

"What do you call a black guy who fly's a plane for a living? A PILOT you fucking racist!"

"Are you ready for TheDivision's upcoming DLC? TheAddition? If not, you might like its already-existing-but-cut-for-later content TheSubstraction."