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Joke of the Day

"A girl told me how hard it is for her to gain weight. I said it's hard for me NOT to. We had a good laugh & then I punched her in the face."

"What the 0 said to the 8 ? Nice belt, dude !"

"How is a woman like a condom? Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick."

"Why does math class teach kids about Japan, Germany, and Italy? Because they learn about the x-axis."

"""What do we want?"" ""Hearing aids."" ""When do we want them?"" ""Hearing aids."""

"M.C. Escher walks into a bar forever."

"How does Moses make tea? *Hebrews it*"

"DOCTOR: We were all out of blood for your transfusion so we used Mountain Dew ME: [I don't hear bc I already snowboarded out the window]"

"When is a fetus viable? To a Christian, it's the moment of conception. To a Jew, it's when he graduates from medical school. -my mom heard this on the radio"

"My son's joke he just told me. Knock knock. who's there ? Banana Banana who ? Eye ball... aren't you glad I didn't say orange? :s loool"