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Joke of the Day

"""Great speech! Have you thought about giving it from behind a wooden box for some reason?"" - podium salesman"

"Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a potato."

"So Decartes goes to a restaurant for dinner... After enjoying his meal, the waiter asks Descartes if he would like any dessert. Politely, he responds, ""I think not,"" then immediately disappears."

"I was walking around an art gallery with my wife. ""Does anything in this room get you excited?"" she said, with a cheeky wink. I said, ""Yes, some of the paintings."""

"ME: Would you like a snack? 4: No. As a pure mathematical object, I require no physical sustenance."

"waldo at the gym can't none of y'all spot me"

"Everyone, meet our new baby, Lucian ""Aww, what a nice name"" It's her dad's, so I picked his middle name ""What is it?"" Theskywithdiamonds"

"Something just came up on my computer asking if I trusted it, and now we're running away to start a new life together."

"Teens, you should not being getting drunk. You're annoying enough as it is"

"What was the statistician's favorite herb? Bayes-il"