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Joke of the Day

"What advice to cows give? Turn the udder cheek and mooooove on!"

"Instead of saying a package is Family Size, it'd be more helpful if it listed a time frame, like 3 Hours Worth of Cookies."

"Hottest fabric on ramps in Paris this season: Kevlar..."

"how many months have 28 days in them . All of them."

"Shame about the Tesla driver that crashed while watching a movie. He should've watched the trailer."

"Not sure if the bulb for my check engine light finally burned itself out or if my car magically fixed itself, but I'm going with the latter"

"With Facebook, you can stay in touch with people you would otherwise never talk to, but that's only one of the many awful things about it"

"I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control, and I thought to myself. ""Well this changes everything"""

"Stop the presses! My paninis can wait."

"How can you spot a blind man in a nudist colony? C'mon, it's not hard..."