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Joke of the Day

"What advice to cows give? Turn the udder cheek and mooooove on!"

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"A chef was worriEd that he would mess up dessert... Turned out to be a piece of cake!"
"Bernie Sanders should change his name to Colonel. That way he'll surely get the black vote."
"Tons of hot girls in my neighborhood stopped talking to me. I guess they find ad-block really unattractive."
"Say what you want about deaf people... Am I right!?"
"What's the difference between Bill and Hillary Clinton? One wants their aides to keep their mouth closed, the other wants them to keep their mouth open."
"How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? - She starts her sentence with ""A man once told me..."""
"Doctor: I have two pieces of bad news for you. One is that you have cancer and is going to die soon. The other is that you have Alzheimers. Patient: Oh. But at least I don't have cancer."
"Why is oxygen like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."
"I'd jump in front of a gently tossed beach ball for you."