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Joke of the Day

"Jesus told Peter, ""Peter, come forth and receive my eternal blessing"" But Peter came fifth and had to eat the biscuit"

"A ghost walks into a bar ""Sorry sir"" the barmen says, ""We don't serve spirits after eleven"""

"Dear Week, I'm so over you. I'm leaving you for your best friend, Weekend. Don't try to find us for at least 2 days."

"joe: siri address me as poopyhead siri: okay poopyhead *obama enters* barack: joe have you seen my phone? joe: yep here *runs away giggling*"

"Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?- Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's"

"What happened when the lion ate the comedian ? He felt funny !"

"What's a stoner's favorite body of water? The T.H. sea"

"What do you get when you cross a rooster and a telephone pole? A 40-foot cock trying to reach out and touch someone."

"Shoutout to my Cold War reenactment group! We're just a bunch of chill white guys, sitting at a table, acting stressed about the USSR."

"Two guys walk down the street And one falls through the window"