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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Preston Coach Terminal and a lobster with 34e breasts? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean."

"I'm at my most Alzheimer's when Billy is that you?"

"Junkie grandson : Grandma,grandma did you see my pills I left on the table ? Grandma: F*ck the pills,did you see those dragons in the kitchen ?"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7...another ending Because 7 was a black man"

"I would organize my thoughts but I'm afraid they would form a union and demand benefits."

"Unless you can explain how you know me in three words or less, Facebook Friend Request: DENIED."

"i have an iq of 152 so actually its not ""dumb"" that im trapped in this tiny slide for children"

"It's disturbing that when we see a man's mustache fall off we assume it's an identity theft situation and not a medical emergency"

"Imagine the PR nightmare if one of these pardoned turkeys goes on a killing spree."

"if you write something and include a ""tl;dr"" version that just means you're shitty at keeping peoples attention with your awful writing"