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Joke of the Day

"Why was 6 afraid of 7...another ending Because 7 was a black man"

"""You're going to poop me."" --Lazy Fortune Cookie"

"Once upon a time, a rabbit went bald... ...and he was so embarrassed that he ran away. He was hare today, gone tomorrow."

"(Sexism warning) Yesterday a tree fell on a woman and killed her. What was a tree doing in the kitchen?"

"What does the world of politics have in common with my toilet? They're both clogged with shit."

"When your prospective father-in-law asks:""Why do you ask for my daughters hand in marriage?"" Do NOT say:""Because I am tired of using my own"""

"I just fucked up instant oatmeal like some kind of husband in a commercial."

"Letting me choose my username on Amazon is a bad move. I think customer support gets uncomfortable when I need help with CockPopsicle87."

"I think Mondays were invented to punish us for all the fun we have on the weekends!"

"How is American beer like having sex in a canoe? Because it's fucking close to water."