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Joke of the Day

"How can you get hundreds of women wet all at once? Go to a john mayer concert!"

"ME: [in santa costume, covered in chimney soot] that was hard. how does santa do it WIFE: well santas not real, hun ME: [drops cookie] WHAT"

"Nice try government. But I'm not taking you back until I know where you've been for the last two weeks."

"How many introverts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Why does it have to be a group activity?!"

"I went shopping for some lingerie for my wife. I asked the shop keep if the panties were satin. He said ""No, they're brand new""."

"And the winner of the 2016 presidential election is Hillary! - Steve Harvey"

"I was at a hat shop and the sign read, ""ALL CAPS MUST GO!"" ...and I thought what hypocrites!"

"Hospitals are so shady nowadays... Even the doctors are drug dealers."

"Are you going to the homecoming? No sorry I cant, I'm going to be at home cumming"

"""Betty White"" What the African American said when he heard there was a new Pope."