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Joke of the Day
"What do you say to comfort the grammar nazi? There, their, they're..."
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"Kim Jong Un ""When I said nuke the Chinese, I meant microwave the takeout from yesterday!"""
"ME: There's no i in team but there is one in pizza WIFE: so you're not going to share ME: I am not going to share"
"First Rule of Parent Club: If your kid gets their head stuck in something, make sure you get your camera before you help them get it out."
"The principal confiscated my CD's and microSD full of songs from 1980's shoot-em-up video games, specifically the ones mentioning eagles. He said it was illegal contraband."
"A lion wouldn't cheat on his wife but a Tiger Wood"
"A man drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how a Mercedes bends"
"Bouncer: ID please Me: I got socks for Christmas Bouncer: ...okay Me: and I'm genuinely happy about it Bouncer: so sorry come on in"
"My clearest memory of high school is my friend asking me if I brought gym clothes and me asking, ""Who the fuck is Jim?"""
"An oldie but a goodie: What do Pink Floyd & Dale Earnhardt Sr. have in common? Their last biggest hit was The Wall"