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Joke of the Day

"First Rule of Parent Club: If your kid gets their head stuck in something, make sure you get your camera before you help them get it out."

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"""They're meh."" --Tony the Tiger, off his Paxil for a few days"
"I auditioned for a role in Star Wars: The Force Awakens Unfortunately, I was a white male."
"why do farts stink? so deaf people can enjoy them too."
"I want to start a subreddit about erectile dysfunction, but I seem to be having a hard time getting it up."
"Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to your house!!! Alright, that was a lame joke...here's another: * Knock, Knock. * Who's There? * THE CHICKEN!!!"
"Rent boat. Go out to sea. Find sperm whale. Tell him he's called sperm whale. Console sperm whale. Have fun with new whale best friend."
"How do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it........"
"A Psychic Buying Clothes Employee: How about this one? Psychic: That shirt is too small. Employee: You didn't even try it on. Psychic: I'm a medium."
"""Get over yourself."" *Me teaching clones how to play leapfrog"