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Joke of the Day

"You can idolize anything... You just have to put your mind into it."

"Why didn't the Pharaoh believe he was drowning? Because he was in deNile"

"Johnny Depp's wife of just over a year Filed for Divorce today... With NO prenup...She is gonna get soooooo many bracelets."

"Couldn't remember the girl's name from last night so I brought her to Starbucks."

"I wonder if Superman ever put glasses on Lois Lane's dog & she was like, ""I've never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?"""

"Did you hear about the shy masturbating turtle? he really came out of his shell"

"""Will I ever be able to race my horse again"" the owner asked the vet. The vet replied ""You certainly will and you'll probably beat her too!"""

"Knock Knock, ""Who's there?"" ""Gladiator"" ""Gladiator who?"" ""Gladiator, before going to the gang bang"""

"Bring Me the Horizon gets thrown into the ocean... Do they sink or swim? Or simply disappear?"

"How does Moses get his coffee? He buys it from Starbucks..."