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Joke of the Day

"What did Jonathan Ross say after breaking in to a large kitchen to steal some utensils? It was worth the whisk"

"Finding out your ex has a bad life is like finding 100 $ in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face."

"Did you hear about the guy who had ADD and schizophrenia? He heard voices, but could never pay attention long enough to them to do anything crazy."

"What do a brick and I have in common? We both get laid by hand."

"Read in Richard Pryors voice... The other day I had to take a shit so bad... The shit came out and said DAMMMMMNNN I gotta take a shit!"

"Toilets that automatically flush before I'm done make me feel like every relationship I've ever been in."

"""What happens to germaphobes?"" They wash their hands so often, they dry out and people assume they have AIDS."

"my wife wouldn't let me wear my pajama jeans to her awards luncheon thing because you can ""see my balls through them"" smh"

"When Hugh Hefner dies no one will say he's in a better place now."

"My girlfriend is like a Chipmunk... She's tiny, fluffy, and has a horrible voice."