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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend is like a Chipmunk... She's tiny, fluffy, and has a horrible voice."

"Judge: Are you married? A. No I'm divorced. Judge. And what did your husband do before you divorced him? A. A lot of things I didn't know about."

"Fall is fast approaching. Time to sew all my jean legs back on."

"Bully: This town isn't big enough for the 2 of us! Me: Oh yeah? Bully: Yeah! Me: Come at me bro *opens town expansion plan* and look at this"

"The deeper the pit you're falling into, the more chance you have to learn how to fly."

"TIL that in the PC version of GTA V there's a new keyboard shortcut which when you press it will cause your character to kill minorities Alt+Right"

"WiFi Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didn't know who he was."

"What does Putin say during his new years speech? Don't know but its so scary that they drink for ten days straight right after!"

"What do you call a group of people addicted to Japanese drugs? We abuse"

"Why is 9 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate a bunch of PCP and is going apeshit!"