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Joke of the Day

"Just watched a heart-warming video of a soldier returning home from Afghanistan to his cat, who looks at him as if to say ""Were you away?"""

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"What's large, gray, wrinkly, and not important? An irrelephant."
"What does a burning Mexican farm smell like? Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico , and how the smell reminded him of tacos."
"I'm a journalist. My paper asked if I would write an article about bukkake I said ""I've got it covered""..."
"[spider's junk email folder] -TURN YOUR WEBS INTO $$$$ -HOT SPIDERS ON YOUR CEILING WANT TO MEET YOU -TRY THE ULTIMATE 8 LEG DIET TODAY"
"I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything... ...trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself."
"Most fucked up joke I ever heard (nsfw) The moment when you eat out your grandma, taste horse semen and think to yourself ""So this must be how she died""."
"How do you prepare for a party in space? You Planet Thanks u/BostonCentrist"
"People ask me why I don't have any tattoos. I tell em "" would you put a bumper sticker on your ferrari?"
"What do you get when you cross reggaeton and masturbation? Dame mas Vasolina"
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