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Joke of the Day

"Just watched a heart-warming video of a soldier returning home from Afghanistan to his cat, who looks at him as if to say ""Were you away?"""

Next Joke
 
"What's large, gray, wrinkly, and not important? An irrelephant."
"What does a burning Mexican farm smell like? Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico , and how the smell reminded him of tacos."
"I'm a journalist. My paper asked if I would write an article about bukkake I said ""I've got it covered""..."
"[spider's junk email folder] -TURN YOUR WEBS INTO $$$$ -HOT SPIDERS ON YOUR CEILING WANT TO MEET YOU -TRY THE ULTIMATE 8 LEG DIET TODAY"
"I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything... ...trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself."
"Most fucked up joke I ever heard (nsfw) The moment when you eat out your grandma, taste horse semen and think to yourself ""So this must be how she died""."
"How do you prepare for a party in space? You Planet Thanks u/BostonCentrist"
"People ask me why I don't have any tattoos. I tell em "" would you put a bumper sticker on your ferrari?"
"What do you get when you cross reggaeton and masturbation? Dame mas Vasolina"