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Joke of the Day
"A liberal arts student walks into a bar. (Insert pronoun here) can't buy anything."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Santa stops at 3 hoes"
"The punchline is ""because he was trying to make ends meat."" You make up the joke. Let's see what you got."
"It's only an overdose if you're dead."
"""When you wish upon a star, it takes trillions of years for the wish to get there, and by that stage you're dead."" - Neil deGrasse Tyson."
"San Andreas is just like Godzilla only Godzilla is invisible"
"Muffins - for people who don't have the guts to order cake for breakfast."
"I got my first email address in 1999 to keep in touch with a girl I met in Poland. She's dead now but I still use email."
"What do you call a Deer with no eyes? No eye Deer"
"A Texan goes to a car dealership He sees a car he likes and says ""Gee that's a byoot!"" The Dealer responds ""That's not a Buick that's a Honda!"""