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Joke of the Day

"A liberal arts student walks into a bar. (Insert pronoun here) can't buy anything."

"McDonald's new Obama Value Meal is for freaks!!!"

"A psychic midget has escaped from prison Yes, we have a small medium at large."

"I don't see countries or borders, I don't see color or race or anything that differentiates people. Seriously, I think I fucked up my eyes."

"How do you scare a snowman? You get a hairdryer!"

"Whatever happened to Robot Jones? He got cancelled."

"A psychic Midget escaped from jail yesterday. The papers read: ""Small Medium at Large"""

"[talking with ex] Me: Is he more boring than me? Her: He is. Me: *devastated* How could you?"

"If Jason Bateman was a Jedi... I would call him Master Bateman."

"Why did the owl 'owl? Because the woodpecker would peck 'er."