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Joke of the Day
"Why did little Jimmy break open his computer? It said that it had 20 cookies in it."
Next Joke
"I know I'm getting old when I see a beautiful 19 year old girl and I wonder what her mother looks like."
"Way less people would sneeze in public if we replaced ""bless you"" with ""nice filthcloud."""
"Whats the difference between a Cat and a Compound Sentence? One has claws at the end of its paws, one has a pause at the end of its clause."
"I started dating a psychiatrist. Now I'm afraid of commitment."
"I can totally keep secrets. It's the people I tell them to that can't."
"They demolished my local Domino's Pizza shop... yesterday, and then all the other shops on the street fell down."
"You know when it's a viral video when... The video is taken vertically."
"I asked a beautiful Chinese girl for her number. She replied, ""Sex sex sex free sex tonight"". I said, ""Wow"". Then her friend speaks: ""She means 6663629""."
"Son, its time we had 'the talk.' [dad removes shirt, starts projector, chugs 4 beers] Ok! So Tower 1 steel beams could only have melted at-"