72195

Joke of the Day

"""WTF IS THIS?!?!"" dad demands as he looks at my report card. I explain to him the idea of schooling and grading systems and he calms down."

"How do you get 300 babies in a bowl? Blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips"

"Don't lye. It makes you basic."

"Why do short people laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls."

"An Irishman offended everyone in the pub by making witty jokes about their mums. What was his name? O'Byrne"

"My wife bought four grapefruit spoons. You know, for all those times in your life when there are four people eating grapefruit at once."

"I saw a motorcycle with a broken windscreen And I thought ""that's not fairing too well."""

"What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? ""Hold onto your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job."""

"When I'm away from my girlfriend, I feel incomplete... ... But I love it when we're together again, because she makes me feel hole."

"Someone explain why clothes are so expensive? I should not have to pay this much to not be naked. People should pay ME to not be naked"